You know, my life is so shit at the moment, that I really need a wailing wall. Sometimes you just need to SCREAM into the night, and feel that someone, somewhere MIGHT be listening. Hence, this blog.
Yes,I am the kind of person who uses words like “hence”.
I am a dreamer, a roamer, a writer, a doer, a not-always-follow-through-er.
I am a middle child, my older brother is SO successful, with his fancy new house and his fancy new car, and his fancy new wife. He is a decent guy who has worked hard to be where he is. He is also someone who can make me feel about two inches tall in less than two seconds flat. My younger sister is the stunningly beautiful one, with the perfect boyfriend, who just had a baby and is still completing her degree. She went back to school a few years ago and is now finishing her education as a psychologist. She is an inspiration, following her dream as an adult after several years working in the travel industry. Now she is a mother, and she makes it look easy. She is back to wearing her pre-maternity clothes only two months after the birth, and I can’t be around her for more than five minutes before I want to bang her head against a wall and scream “IT ISN’T NATURAL TO BE THIS PERFECT!!!”
Then there is me. I am the one with the head full of great ideas, that just never seem to pan out right. I am the one who always end up spending more money than I make, even though I never have anything to show for it. My apartment is TINY, I have a car (for now, ask me again next week), and that’s about it. I don’t go out, I don’t gamble, I don’t do drugs, I don’t travel, I don’t buy expensive wine or clothes or jewellery or anything really, so where the hell does the money go?? And I’m single. Like I said, I don’t go out so I never really meet anyone. Of course, three of the guys I dated have gone running back to their exes, more on that later, so I am pretty tired of men altogether.
And that’s me in a nutshell. I am a tired, lonely, broke, unemployed MESS. Welcome to my life.